School Schmool

Lately I've been really Daniel Clowes-ing out and just watching Ghost World and Art School Confidential over and over and re-reading Ghost World. Coincidentally or not, I am also starting art school tomorrow. Whoo, first year of university here I come and I thank the heavens and Gwen Stefani that I am not going back to highschool. All I can say is that I hope I have a better art school experience than Daniel Clowes seems to have had.

What I really like about Daniel Clowes work is how he taps into all the awful dark crap most movies and people pretend don't exist/ignore. I find his stuff painful to read and Terry Zwigoff's movie adaptations kind of hard to watch, but I still love them. It's very reassuring to know someone out there is as cynical as I am, but also to see how Daniel Clowes has obviously succeeded and made a living out of his art, past traumas aside. The art in both of the movies drives me insane because it's so good. I absolutely love Daniel Clowes style and Enid's sketchbook is like the total embodiment of perfection. I recently got a haircut so my hair kind of looks a bit like Audrey's and then a bit like Enid's when I blow dry it. I also dyed bits of it purple on a whim yesterday. I was at my friends house yesterday with a bunch of people, eating pizza one minute and then the next, there was bleach and Punky Colors all over da place.

I have to go to an orientation for university tomorrow, which I don't really want to go to because I hate all those icebreaker games and always end up looking painfully awkward, but whatevs, I gotta go. I've put together my best tough girl I-don't-give-a-shit-about-what-you-think outfit for tomorrow though, so I'm a bit excited.

Basically everything is thrifted and my rings are from a small independent bookstore, but I was so excited when I found them! I hope all you guys out there heading back to school have a great first day! And here's hoping I won't fall into the category of "self-obsessed neurotic art girl"!

Advice to the young of blog. Man, that's lame.

Buckle your seat belts. Settle in for a long ride. Maybe go get yourself a snack. Or start defrosting a turkey. This might take a while.

I have been hesitant to update my blog as of late. In fact, I’ve even been putting off writing this. Mainly because it takes actual thought and effort and for me to actually relate my own ideas in a way that (I hope) makes sense to other people. And by other people, I mainly mean me when I’m rereading this on a Friday night in my bedroom and like the one or two other people who may stumble across this blog. But in all seriousness, it doesn’t matter if one or one hundred people read this, I think that if what I’m going to say (and I’m definitely not the first person to say any of these things) helps at least one person, my final night of summer vacation spent writing this was definitely not all for naught (and look it already has! – I mean me, in case you didn’t get that) .

Fun Fact (!) : I even drafted this post in my diary first *gasp* and then on Microsoft Word, so you know it’s got to be important! 

Getting back on my original topic, I have been reluctant to update my blog for several reasons. Firstly, I haven’t exactly been too happy with the quality of my previous posts. I never seemed to get in everything I wanted to say (and I suspect that this is a problem for even the most seasoned bloggers and one that never completely goes away ), but also what I was saying or posting never seemed to be exactly what I really meant to say. Or it didn’t get across the message or feeling I actually wanted to get across. It maybe came close, but it always stopped short of really being that vision I had for the post. 

The second issue I’ve been having with my blog is that it just didn’t feel like me! I couldn’t look back at the posts (eughh.) without thinking, ‘Okay, this is a blog.... but it sure can’t be mine’. Surprise, surprise, if your blog doesn’t scream you, you need to take a step back and take it all in to come up with a solution. I think that a lack of uniqueness and individual flare in blogs is a frustrating road block many new bloggers find themselves facing. I mean, when you look at many of the acclaimed blogs out there, boasting fashion prowess and female power or what have you, you can’t help but notice how amazingly awesome they all are. And when you see something awesome, you can’t help wanting to be awesome, too. But being awesome takes time. It’s something you work up to. I think this is where many other bloggers like me fall into a trap. 

Seeing all the Tavis and Marlenas and Isabels, just to name a few, (oh and go vote for Isabel in the WhoInspiresU contest!) out there, all “rocking” their own unique brand of awesome, a novice blogger might feel her/his own style pales in comparison to their awesomeness. And then what do you do? Well, the correct answer would probably be to forget about what everybody else is doing and just do what feels right to you. Don’t worry about what blogging conventions there might be or what works for someone else, because there are none that aren’t meant to be broken and what works for someone else will not necessarily work for you. What I did at first is what I imagine a lot of other novice bloggers do: get overwhelmed by the many different blogging styles and try to study and emulate others. And then you end up with something that isn’t them and is certainly not you.

I think coming up with your own style takes time, practice and confidence (which might also require practice as in my case). Just because it seems like somebody else had their own thang going right from the get go doesn’t mean there’s any shame in having to warm up to your thang. Or thingy. Or thingamajig. Or whatchamacallit. It’ll come in due time if you forget about what everyone else is doing and think about what you really want to be doing. As for the practice and confidence, I think the most important thing is just to keep on keepin’ on. Continue blogging and blogging with confidence and sooner or later, you will find what works for you. I may not have found what works for me yet, but I think I’m finding it bit by bit. It's something you have to keep working on. And something I am going to keep working on.

Man that was like an essay for English class or something, huh.  Reaaally long. And maybe a bit fragmented.  And I hope this doesn’t come across as preachy or pushy or like I think I have all the answers (me oh my, I have yet to even follow all of my own advice let alone force it upon you!). Because I don’t mean it to sound that way :).

Well, now that that serious little heart-to-heart type bit is over, time for the fun stuff! This is officially my last day of summer vacation. In fact, in one hour I will be able to say that it is a school day, which also means I should really be asleep right now. Except I’ve been procrastinating posting for way too long, so I’ve got to do it now! I went out in my back yard and took pictures of myself with self-timer and my camera on a grubby plastic table like a dork. I had a successful hunt at my local Value Village the other day and put the fruits of my labour together to make a school girl/hip 90s millennium generation (note the technicolour flower power T-shirt)/stern secretary look. Oh! And I died part of my hair PRETTY FLAMINGO, but you can’t really see it in these pictures. Last week it was teal.

Thank you picnik. I enjoy your small ugly 'stickers' a bit too much.

Me trying to change things up a little.

More fabulously awkward posing!

Everything thrifted...well, except for my socks. Messenger bag also second-hand, filled with some quality reading material (BITCH Magazine from 2000, one of my new favourite magazines!) and school supplies. Oh yeah. High School.

 

I spent the final few days of summer making collages on my school folders using pictures I found on peoples blogs and tumblrs. This way I’ll have sumpthin perty to look at whun my brain’s bout to asplode in calculus. Oh the horror.

They're all horizontal, which makes me mad. But blogger isn't letting me have them vertical :(